You Know Me

my soul yearns for You

seeking to know you with my heart

which overflows with adoration

i am nourished

fed by Your bread of life

freely given to me

all i had to do was ask

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

There comes many moments in our lives when adoration pours out of our hearts and soul for Jesus. Rereading some of my favorite psalms echo the joys and love for our Almighty God. I can imagine in my minds eyes the fullness of David’s adoration for God. It is riveting, and touches a deep chord within the depth of our being. His passion filled words lift our spirit up high, and embraces us in worship and song for God.

Pure and simple love flows upwards into the stratosphere for our beloved Savior.

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

In our world today of unfiltered music that often runs in opposition to God’s Holiness, it is truly a gift when I can find worship music that sing praises to our Almighty. They are Contemporary praise and worship music from hearts that bespeaks the challenges and love of Jesus in our world today. Just like in the Old Testament, today’s lyric and songs are from the heart – cries of hope, redemption, and love. Share Elevation Worship with those who don’t know Jesus. Play this and close your eyes, letting these songs take you on a journey with Jesus:

Elevation Worship – YouTube

What a friend I have in Jesus, He has my heart. As He draws me nearer to Him, He heals me of all my pain and the baggage that has weighted me down. Praise be to God for giving us His precious son – to die on the cross for me.

Start talking to Jesus, in Him you will find a friend:

Holding Your Gaze

Photo by Chris Barker on Unsplash

You have loved me since the beginning of time.

From that moment you created me and kissed me, the fire of your spirit came into me.

It filled me and kept me warm and protected, and in the arms of my mother I laid.

You were never far, but gazed upon me with love from above your heavenly realm.

When I was a child, I thought as a child, and gazed at you and though how kind you seem. I was told you were the good shepherd. My friend you became.

I was ignorant and unaware of how Your wisp of fire burnt within me. It kept me safe throughout my childhood.

But as I grew older, you became a distance memory, of a character from a fairy tale of sort, of a kindly man who went out in search of His lost sheep.

So began my journey without, not of the ephemeral joys of childhood stories, but into the vast world around me. I yearned to experience – life!

Lived I will in the world of Sartre and Camus. That little flame within me started to diminish, barely lighting my path. You became a distance memory

Oh how my thoughtlessness must have grieved you. My idiom became the selfish call for subjective truth, as it is I alone who can determine my path or so I thought. I didn’t look back, but fell into the abyss of desire.

Truth, Truth, what is it but to know thine own self. Oh, how good it felt, until I realized I needed more.

Feeding the temporal desires of my body was like seeking a cure for an incurable disease. The more I filled myself and fanned my wants, the greater my need for it became. It threw me into a revolving door of more needs and wants.

It was always You, for you alone patiently waited for me. So many times, from the dark mire of my soul, you have called to me. I tuned you out!

My avariciousness for sexual desires darken my soul. I spiraled into self abasement and addiction to the flesh. Gluttonously satisfying an empty cup that seems to endlessly always need more to fill and feed the demons which took over my body and my spirit.

Jesus, you called my name, but I was too ashamed to lift up my head. I continued to run until I fell into the pit of endless obsession. Yet you never abandoned me, and continued to remind me of your love for me.

You, my dear friend never left me. You were quietly pulling me out of the desiccation that is me. Your hands blocking and casing out the debris around me. You were there to protect me from the rape of soul.

You lifted me out of the veniality of my soul. Your radiant divine mercy and love shrines upon my abyss. You reignited the dying flame within me.

You came down to me so that I can see for myself your love and sincerity. Gazing upon you, I feel the ominous nectar that has consumed me burn away. The light of your fire alighting my soul and reviving me to live again in Your presence. In your gaze, I saw Your love for me.

Holding your gaze, I can let go of myself. I have been liberated from my hate, and my bedeviled past. Gazing up onto the cross, I am forgiven. Holding Your gaze. I am reborn. Your breathe alights within my soul a fire.

Note: My Confession.

Thanks for reading,

God Bless 💖

Recovery

 

My life follows a path I often cannot comprehend.

Sometimes I’m full of questions, at other times I just flow with the current

Shaking my head and asking,

“Smooth sailing, they say?”   “No, not at all!”

  My life is always full of surprises  

And filled with many twist and turns.

With each sigh, tear, heartache, there is also laughter and abundant joy.

I follow this course deftly walking, running, stumbling, or cruising along

Breathlessly at times, but always trusting

I can pick myself up and keep on going.

“Be strong they tell me”, as I stop myself from letting the feelings of uncertainty

Fill my mind with fear when the road seems rocky.  

I reach within for inner

strength, to help me through when the path seems rough, knowing I have the support of

many whose paths have crossed with mine as I sit, chat and talk about this and that.

Each person, each experience, each serendipitous moment is precious,

The glow of my life made beautiful

As I am cocooned by their hope, love and faith.

pexels-photo-919587.jpeg

 

Make Me Whole

My soul is broken in a world 

that cannot find peace

I can only grab onto you

turn my eyes to see your face 

I seek the light of your name     Jesus

I surrender myself to your grace

grabbing onto you      

 

In you     Jesus    I find my center

You embrace my sorrow

and comfort me in your love   

and make me whole

 

Winter’s blanket white and cold

the reflection of the sun bounces off it on a sunny day

warms my face and heart

but on a cloudy day, it just magnifies the blue I feel within

and I wait for a new season

as winter breaks into spring

I long for a new day filled with color

but as I wait within a world gone mad

reinforced by compounding echos of the ravaging turmoil

my soul is full of sorrow

the center gone

I tune out the noise

and grasp for meaning in a world full of discord

 

my soul is broken in a world

that cannot find peace

I seek the light of your name     Jesus

I surrender myself to your grace

grabbing onto you      Jesus

 

In you      Jesus      I find my center

You embrace my sorrow

and comfort me in your love   

and make me whole