As Catholics, we are called to love and be charitable. What do we do when the relationship is a toxic one. It not only eats at our patience and understanding, but it eats away at our soul. Yes, it is unhealthy, and in such cases, one can pray and love from a distance.
Unhealthy relationship are the ones that cause the most stress and anxiety. It is truly hard to love the unlovable. Whether it be a workplace environment, personal friend, acquaintance, or a family member, toxicity can breed a relation that is difficult to step away from. For whatever reason, whether they be emotional, financial, psychological or social – it can result in gnawing anxiety, stress and depression.
Signs of Toxicity
1. To be constantly put down and verbally criticized or abused.
2. Everything is about them and not you.
3. Everyday brings a challenge. There is constant change and no structure. There is no joy in the relationship – this can be in the workplace, in a group or between individuals.
4. There is no freedom to speak outside the narrative and give one’s personal opinion. Your voice does not matter.
5. There is no room for professional, personal development or growth. This can be within the workplace structure, in a group, or between two individuals. The psychological replay in the mind of the other is the “old” you and not the “new.”There is also no positive support for the work done. There is absolutely no sincere thankfulness.
How do Catholics/Christians manoeuvre in these kinds of situations?
Working with a Spiritual Director and an Art Therapist has helped me shift my focus on changing “me” without and within. To coin a well used phrase; “Love the person and not the sin.” I can’t change the other – whether it’s in the workplace, in a group or between individuals, I can only change myself.
Easily said, and difficult to love the unlovable, but that is what we as Christians are called to do. Focusing on my own spiritual grown and change within by keeping Jesus centred is what has helped me.
Although we often can’t avoid negative and toxic situations or individuals, we can “suck” it up and avoid a negative situation by keeping in mind that our own sense of spiritual well being is important and comes first. The goal is keeping spiritual peace within (amidst the chaos).
“I can’t change the world, but I can change myself!”
Remain in a state of being (and grace) knowing that you have been “crucified with Christ” and no longer live as you were, but on a journey with him in becoming a “better you in your own creation.”
Hope this help those who like myself have been given the challenge of working within a toxic environment, toxic relationship and group. Know that you are a creation of God. Know who you are a a child of God. Believe me, the unseen hand of Jesus is always with you as a source of support and healing.
God Bless 💕🙏
Be Inspired! 
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