Let Me

Photo by Vaishakh pillai on Unsplash

My loving Jesus,

let me help you carry Your cross

and share in some of Your pain

my sin a heavy burden

Am i worthy – i am broken

i am bond in this temporal space

mold me within Your will

fill this barren vessel

my soul raised out of the dark night

your hands reaches for me

You exist within and without

cradled in Your infinite love

let me wipe away your pain

hold you in my arms

let me comfort you

let me wrap You in my love

Within my minds eye

i can see in that dark space

sense, body and mind

transcends beyond the stars

God Bless all this Holy Thursday 💖

Walking Towards You

as i walk towards the cross

i lift up my eyes

it is You i see

broken and imperfect

let me give you the best of me

Come Holy Spirit

guard my heart this week

let me remain standing

wrapped in your mercy

in a world where so many are against you

let me give you the best of me

Mary Anoints Jesus

12 Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus’ feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, ‘Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor?’ (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, ‘Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.’

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Let us give Jesus the best.

God Bless 💖

Gracious Grace

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

The Gracious gRace that

B’stills a gen’tl

tingling

beckons(or not)..a charging   soul

Lost in the trans’lation of chatteredprayer

Or Thy thought; that our beckon’ing

sought…

we    danced where the foot prints

dis-appeared.; alone but aware

cradled in the ever     lasting Presence

the GraCe graciously’ b’stillin’ the

mINGLING

A gentleness unseen but alive………

by Jeff Rose

(Aside: I have met some remarkable and inspiring people through my RCIA (Camino) group. Jeff Rose is one of them, and along with all the members of my Camino group – have made me feel welcomed. They have helped me get over my social awkwardness. In our journey together, each of us have deepened our relationship with Jesus. This Easter will see 8 Baptized into God’s family.

Most of all, for me, I no longer feel like an outsider, but am the prodigal daughter returned home – into the welcome embrace of God’s mercy and amazing grace. Praise be to God.)

God Bless 💖

Holding Your Gaze

Photo by Chris Barker on Unsplash

You have loved me since the beginning of time.

From that moment you created me and kissed me, the fire of your spirit came into me.

It filled me and kept me warm and protected, and in the arms of my mother I laid.

You were never far, but gazed upon me with love from above your heavenly realm.

When I was a child, I thought as a child, and gazed at you and though how kind you seem. I was told you were the good shepherd. My friend you became.

I was ignorant and unaware of how Your wisp of fire burnt within me. It kept me safe throughout my childhood.

But as I grew older, you became a distance memory, of a character from a fairy tale of sort, of a kindly man who went out in search of His lost sheep.

So began my journey without, not of the ephemeral joys of childhood stories, but into the vast world around me. I yearned to experience – life!

Lived I will in the world of Sartre and Camus. That little flame within me started to diminish, barely lighting my path. You became a distance memory

Oh how my thoughtlessness must have grieved you. My idiom became the selfish call for subjective truth, as it is I alone who can determine my path or so I thought. I didn’t look back, but fell into the abyss of desire.

Truth, Truth, what is it but to know thine own self. Oh, how good it felt, until I realized I needed more.

Feeding the temporal desires of my body was like seeking a cure for an incurable disease. The more I filled myself and fanned my wants, the greater my need for it became. It threw me into a revolving door of more needs and wants.

It was always You, for you alone patiently waited for me. So many times, from the dark mire of my soul, you have called to me. I tuned you out!

My avariciousness for sexual desires darken my soul. I spiraled into self abasement and addiction to the flesh. Gluttonously satisfying an empty cup that seems to endlessly always need more to fill and feed the demons which took over my body and my spirit.

Jesus, you called my name, but I was too ashamed to lift up my head. I continued to run until I fell into the pit of endless obsession. Yet you never abandoned me, and continued to remind me of your love for me.

You, my dear friend never left me. You were quietly pulling me out of the desiccation that is me. Your hands blocking and casing out the debris around me. You were there to protect me from the rape of soul.

You lifted me out of the veniality of my soul. Your radiant divine mercy and love shrines upon my abyss. You reignited the dying flame within me.

You came down to me so that I can see for myself your love and sincerity. Gazing upon you, I feel the ominous nectar that has consumed me burn away. The light of your fire alighting my soul and reviving me to live again in Your presence. In your gaze, I saw Your love for me.

Holding your gaze, I can let go of myself. I have been liberated from my hate, and my bedeviled past. Gazing up onto the cross, I am forgiven. Holding Your gaze. I am reborn. Your breathe alights within my soul a fire.

Note: My Confession.

Thanks for reading,

God Bless 💖

Recovery

 

My life follows a path I often cannot comprehend.

Sometimes I’m full of questions, at other times I just flow with the current

Shaking my head and asking,

“Smooth sailing, they say?”   “No, not at all!”

  My life is always full of surprises  

And filled with many twist and turns.

With each sigh, tear, heartache, there is also laughter and abundant joy.

I follow this course deftly walking, running, stumbling, or cruising along

Breathlessly at times, but always trusting

I can pick myself up and keep on going.

“Be strong they tell me”, as I stop myself from letting the feelings of uncertainty

Fill my mind with fear when the road seems rocky.  

I reach within for inner

strength, to help me through when the path seems rough, knowing I have the support of

many whose paths have crossed with mine as I sit, chat and talk about this and that.

Each person, each experience, each serendipitous moment is precious,

The glow of my life made beautiful

As I am cocooned by their hope, love and faith.

pexels-photo-919587.jpeg

 

Untitled 


I lift my eyes 

heaven bound 

My stomach in knots 

Silently calling upon my Lord

Million and zillions of voices a heavenly din
Redeemed and set free of our sins

Me

Our journey is immensely personal, and our relationship with God even more so

You

I can only watch, and support your journey in prayer – myself walking closely with Christ with the guidance of the Holy Spirit

My journey in the Glow of the Holy Spirit is a personal one

Whether it be when I  first accepted Christ as a child with wide eyed trust

Or as a youth

Or as an adult when we’ve been broken in our life’s journey

Or it can be throughout our lives as live events draws us closer to God with each rift in our lives 

It is immensely unique and different for each of us

Just as we experience our relationships, lived experience and understanding differently from one another

There may be parallels or similarities and they can offer us a map of understanding our journey but in end each of us have a unique and personal experience with God

I wait upon the Jesus

To guard my heart and soul from repeating the mistakes of old

Where walking on my own has lead to a replay in technicolor

Despair and overwhelmed

Only when your descent upon me and guard me against acting out rashly can I stand strong

Grounded in the Spirit

Patience and maturity to make the right decision
You’ve walked a long and winding journey with me

Always faithful

Never abandoning a sinner like me

Your anchor always helping me weather the storm

Follow Me

There was a time when I thought myself unworthy 

as my soul moaned my lost of innocence 

my journey into the fringe drew me deeper into a dark journey

How can I explain to you that despite the shadows of death – there is hope
That with just a glimmer of faith

Jesus was right there with guiding me out of my misery

Like a tapestry with interweaving thread, a medley of people and circumstances intertwine and weaved their way into my life and guided me out of my self destructive path.

In hindsight, Jesus never forsaked me, and He watched over me and walked with me until my eyes could see him.

He is patient 

He is Grace

He loves me 

How can I explain that once I cried out to Him to be my Saviour – That all the bad decisions I’ve made in the past stays in the past – my life took a 180 turn away from my old life.

“Follow Me”, is all He asks of me.

Thank you Jesus for reminding me this past Easter weekend of your sacrifice for me❤️


Notes:

30 When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks, broke it and began to give it to them. 31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”

Luke 24:30-32 | NIV
23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 

Luke 9:23 | NIV

Make Me Whole

My soul is broken in a world 

that cannot find peace

I can only grab onto you

turn my eyes to see your face 

I seek the light of your name     Jesus

I surrender myself to your grace

grabbing onto you      

 

In you     Jesus    I find my center

You embrace my sorrow

and comfort me in your love   

and make me whole

 

Winter’s blanket white and cold

the reflection of the sun bounces off it on a sunny day

warms my face and heart

but on a cloudy day, it just magnifies the blue I feel within

and I wait for a new season

as winter breaks into spring

I long for a new day filled with color

but as I wait within a world gone mad

reinforced by compounding echos of the ravaging turmoil

my soul is full of sorrow

the center gone

I tune out the noise

and grasp for meaning in a world full of discord

 

my soul is broken in a world

that cannot find peace

I seek the light of your name     Jesus

I surrender myself to your grace

grabbing onto you      Jesus

 

In you      Jesus      I find my center

You embrace my sorrow

and comfort me in your love   

and make me whole