You Know Me

my soul yearns for You

seeking to know you with my heart

which overflows with adoration

i am nourished

fed by Your bread of life

freely given to me

all i had to do was ask

Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

There comes many moments in our lives when adoration pours out of our hearts and soul for Jesus. Rereading some of my favorite psalms echo the joys and love for our Almighty God. I can imagine in my minds eyes the fullness of David’s adoration for God. It is riveting, and touches a deep chord within the depth of our being. His passion filled words lift our spirit up high, and embraces us in worship and song for God.

Pure and simple love flows upwards into the stratosphere for our beloved Savior.

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

In our world today of unfiltered music that often runs in opposition to God’s Holiness, it is truly a gift when I can find worship music that sing praises to our Almighty. They are Contemporary praise and worship music from hearts that bespeaks the challenges and love of Jesus in our world today. Just like in the Old Testament, today’s lyric and songs are from the heart – cries of hope, redemption, and love. Share Elevation Worship with those who don’t know Jesus. Play this and close your eyes, letting these songs take you on a journey with Jesus:

Elevation Worship – YouTube

What a friend I have in Jesus, He has my heart. As He draws me nearer to Him, He heals me of all my pain and the baggage that has weighted me down. Praise be to God for giving us His precious son – to die on the cross for me.

Start talking to Jesus, in Him you will find a friend:

Bread of Life

When I think about the amount of time I use to spend in the past “lusting” and obtaining material things to satisfy my needs, I am sadden by the waste of time and effort.

In my daily walk with Jesus, there has been a shedding of all the things in this world that were once so meaningful. The things in the past I placed so much effort and energies to obtain, have lost their luster. I didn’t come to this realization alone, but it is Christ working in me through His Holy Spirit. If it were up to my own will, I would probably have continued this meaningless spiral of descent straight into the dark abyss of debt.

Jesus helped me let go of all those things I felt I needed to satisfy my body and soul. He has taught me that my body and being is a temple for Him and Him alone. Through the Holy Spirit working in me, I can say, “NO” to the all desires that soils my body and soul from the smooth flow of His grace and mercy.

Filling up one hole leads to more holes cropping up, and with it comes even more ominous holes. Going forward means accepting and receiving Jesus as my true bread of life.

Photo by James Coleman on Unsplash

26 Jesus answered them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves. 27 Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For it is on him that God the Father has set his seal.’ 

John 6:27

It is a humbling lesson. I thank the Almighty God for all these lessons, and with them, I can walk freely to and with Jesus.

Through Jesus, I have the bread of life. His bread is steadfast and with it, I will never go hungry. My spiritual holes are filled by the Holy Spirit.

35 Jesus said to them, ‘I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. 36 But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. 37 Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away; 38 for I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40 This is indeed the will of my Father, that all who see the Son and believe in him may have eternal life; and I will raise them up on the last day.’

God Bless 💖

God’s Hand

Getting together as a family is often a challenge for us – My husband, Daniel and our son, Mathieu works Sunday. It’s often only Aleeza and I at home. All the craziness of maintaining one bubble under Covid-19 lockdown takes it toll on each of us psychologically and emotionally. While our world is thrown into chaos, our love and faith in God remains steadfast.

A look back to Easter Sunday was a special day for our family. It’s the first time we were able to get together to go to Sunday Mass. This was before lockdowns and curfews. We maintained our family bubble in St. Ignatius. It was a bit daunting for me, as the number of times I have been out in public since Covid – 19 can be counted on one hand – 3.

With great blessings from God, Aleeza was baptized and I was confirmed at St. Ignatius in Montreal into the Catholic Faith.

Praise be to God!

We give thanks to her Teen Alpha teen Ignation | St. Ignatius of Loyola MTL for drawing her into God’s embrace. Nothing can express the joy of being in God’s grace and love. Along with my own new found family at St. Ignatius via my Camino and Alpha group Alpha | St. Ignatius of Loyola MTL.

Getting involved and participating in these groups really helped both my daughter and I to stay focused on Jesus. It helped in answering hard knock questions about the meaning of life and our path in it.

Getting involved in a group setting via Zoom was at first daunting on me. As I have expressed in previous post, I am very much the awkward nerd who is not at ease in socializing. My passion/s rips across me, and I often need to minimize my behavior not to scare those around me. Hence direct and candid as I am, I often have to harness myself. My own daughter often tells me, “Mom! Tell me in simple language. I don’t understand you”. I was not sure I would be able to participate in either Alpha or my Camino group. Thanks be to God, these groups have enriched in my spiritual growth.

Rare Family Picture

Trusting in God’s hand to lead me is based on prayer. It is also an open humbleness on my part to know my will is strong, and that for change to happen in my spiritual life, I must let go of my need to control, and give it into His Almighty hands to guide me. Walking by faith and not by sight.

It is only by letting go, that God’s abundant graces pours down upon me. Sometimes it is like a torrential downpouring that can overwhelm me, but I have come to understand that only by the immensity of it, that I can be knocked down onto my knees in complete adoration of Him.

I have discovered that my Jesus, is a jealous lover, who does not want my focus to be anywhere else except upon Him. Since my confirmation, my soul has fallen more deeply in love with Him. I long to please Him. Endless songs of praise pieces my heart:

Photo by Jackson David on Unsplash

Your Hands

my hands stretched upwards

with eyes tightly shut

i feel your caress

like a gentle wisp of breeze

delicate and feathery

my whole being soaring

Out of my heart come forth songs

to a lover who i know waits patiently for me.

i am His earthly bride, and all i long for

is to please Him in every thing i do

There is a new found purpose

in every steps i take in this dust bowl

All my shortcoming exposed

there is no shame in sharing with Him

the deepest secrets of my soul

For i know He forgives me

washing away the stains that separates Him from me

So that all His love

in the outpouring of his mercy and grace

flows easily into my being

His hands mold and shapes me

so that i am anew – glowing in light

His bride waiting so patiently for Him

God Bless 💖

Let Me

Photo by Vaishakh pillai on Unsplash

My loving Jesus,

let me help you carry Your cross

and share in some of Your pain

my sin a heavy burden

Am i worthy – i am broken

i am bond in this temporal space

mold me within Your will

fill this barren vessel

my soul raised out of the dark night

your hands reaches for me

You exist within and without

cradled in Your infinite love

let me wipe away your pain

hold you in my arms

let me comfort you

let me wrap You in my love

Within my minds eye

i can see in that dark space

sense, body and mind

transcends beyond the stars

God Bless all this Holy Thursday 💖

Betrayal’s Bite

Betrayal comes from the one closest to us. It cuts deep into our core, and creates within us a veil of distrust. I was betrayed by someone I thought was my “bestie”. She was a friend with whom we shared many fun moments. Our families use to spend a lot of time together. However, when my husband and I hit rock bottom and lost our financial standing, all our friends disappeared. I realize afterwards they were predators. There were there for the free ride when the going was good, but when all that was gone, they too left.

What hurt me the most during this challenging time was the person with whom I thought was my “bestie”, was among the list of friends who left us. It hurt me that she wasn’t able to be emotionally supportive.

Disillusionment harden my heart, and it took me a while to trust in people again. It could have lead to many negative and irrational judgements on my part, but the Holy Spirit lead me to forgive. It was a hard lesson into the meaning of friendship and the human soul. I came to understand that true friendship transcends the challenges of life. It is a bond that is a based on – love.

L.O.V.E.

Is the most misconceived word. Do we truly know what it means?

Love is the friend I have in Jesus. No matter how rocky our road can get, experience has taught me that Jesus is faithful. That year, through divine providence, we experienced many miracles. I can’t even grasp how Jesus made it possible, and I can only picture a tapestry of intertwining treads (different life threads). The hand of God was evident in our lives as He pulled cosmic strings to help us. There was the stranger who gave us two bags of groceries and gifts for our children that fateful Christmas. A family member stepped forward to help us out financially. A financial institution helped us reorganize and downsize (we sold all our real estate holdings), and we kept only our house. We also felt the stress lift off our shoulders. My husband who found himself unemployed during this period also found a new job. God’s hand was felt as He taught us a lesson in humility and humbleness. Our children also changed to public schools. My son telling us years latter that his years in private school was like being in “prison”.

We journeyed through this period as a family trusting in God’s hand in our lives.

My God is now my strength. He taught me to forgive and walk forward.

Most of all, God journeyed with us and did not let our hearts fall prey to Satan. God was there holding us up.

Jesus Foretells His Betrayal

21 After saying this Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, ‘Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me.’ 22 The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking. 23 One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining next to him; 24 Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. 25 So while reclining next to Jesus, he asked him, ‘Lord, who is it?’ 26 Jesus answered, ‘It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.’ So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot.27 After he received the piece of bread, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, ‘Do quickly what you are going to do.’ 28 Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. 29 Some thought that, because Judas had the common purse, Jesus was telling him, ‘Buy what we need for the festival’; or, that he should give something to the poor. 30 So, after receiving the piece of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night. John 13:21-33

Let us examine our lives and not become disillusioned. Trust in Jesus, and do not let your heart and soul fall prey to Satan’s lies and guiles. I know – I almost fell prey to my social status when the going was good. Upon reflection, I realize the many “things” I hold dear in life are temporal. They can literally be here today and gone tomorrow.

Betrayal’s bite can hurt. Let Jesus heal us when we are bitten. Let His hand lift us up when we fall. Let Him guide through the thorns and bristles of life.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Thank you!💖

The New Normal

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

I just finished writing a paper for a course on hybrid pastoral ministries. This course focuses on adapting new technology to spread the Gospel. What surprised me the most is how behind our local churches and parishes are in adapting to technology.

Here, I echo Pope Francis’ warning, the church today must go into the trenches – into the dark crevices in our world where the light is very dim or cannot reach:

“Do not be afraid to go and to bring Christ into every area of life, to the fringes of society, even to those who seem farthest away, most indifferent.”

Pope Francis

Those who step into the trenches even in the midst of Covid-19 and using technology are radiating a light for lost souls. These warriors come from many directions, with the goal of sharing the Gospel.

I want to take the time here today to thank the many warriors out there who have used their pen (coughs, ok our keyboard!) to share in our Christian and Catholic Faith. Many have been an inspiration to me during my own walk with Jesus. There were times when their words of encouragement, and their daily reflections have sparked a new insight within me.

Today, I want to take the time to thank you all (and the many other bloggers, I have yet to discover).

God Bless, 💖

Here is a list of Christian and Catholic Bloggers I follow:

For daily reading and devotion

www.ourgivenpurpose.com | Our Given Purpose

Daily inspirational about his walk with Jesus,

josephsdailywalkwithjesus | A closer walk with our beloved friend. (wordpress.com)

A daily Catholic blog which gives me great guidance and comfort in a world where Satan’s seed is everywhere in our social media.

AnaStpaul – Breathing Catholic

A Christian life style blogger, her writing looks at the beautiful graces of the everyday. In the busy hum of our lives, do we take the time to look at God’s miracles around us?

Becoming HIS Tapestry – Christian Lifestyle Blogger

Two other lifestyle blogs I follow,

BeautyBeyondBones

A survivor whose blog is a source of light. This blogger draws from her insights and recovery from a eating disorder – anorexia.

A Minute with Melissa – A Small Girl with a Big God

Melissa shares daily glimpses into her walk with Jesus. I can learn a lot from her blogging style – keep it short and to the point.